"He grooves his overpaid pickup band, he tells Jeff Beck what to do, he writes love songs for every occasion, he hectors like a crank politician would hector if the politician were a rock singer, he makes with the free-love smarm, he may yet give a fuck, he pixilates his pseudosex with studio sensationalism, he reclaims his perpetually threatened manhood."

Excerpted from Brian Joseph Davis’s The Consumed Guide, aka The Ultimate Negative Christgau Review. It’s a 63-page long document assembled entirely from negative words and phrases used by Robert Christgau, drawn from more than thirteen thousand reviews. 

Via WFMU, where you can read a longer excerpt if you are so inclined.